This adoption feels so different from the first. Actually, it just feels so much LESS than the first...or I guess, I just feel so much less. Not to say that I don't VERY MUCH desire another child. I do. It's just weird. Maybe it's too early in the process to feel much of anything about it. I already have a child who is here, living and breathing, and real. It's too much to put my brain and heart around the "idea" of my next child. Although I do lie awake in bed at night thinking of baby names (mostly girl names), the idea of a boy is still so far removed from me. I'm sure in time I will dive in, head first, like I did before. I'll start nesting and dreaming...
I am really excited about the fact that I am definitely going to travel to Korea to pick him/her up. Jay will stay home, but I need to go. Need to soak in the Country and all it has to offer - I need to fall head over heels in love with Korea the way I did with China.
My sister is going to come with me! She told me, out of the blue, last week that she wanted to come with. I was shocked! But, I am SO SO SO thrilled that the two of us will be taking this trip together. We will have the best time...I'm glad that she is going to experience this adoption from the beginning first-hand. It was so sad in China, just being able to communicate over the phone. This will be huge for us!
So, that is where I am right now in this process. Kind-of all over the place, but deep down I am calm, trusting that God has it all figured out - so I don't have to.
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Isaiah 54:1-
"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband, says the Lord. Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left..."
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4 comments:
I love this new one, very nice!
And even like more what you write dear Nikki. I think it's good that you stay the feet on the ground and for now just live the present with Lily. With this very long wait for our #2 I have to remind that to myself often. I am so blessed with Maëlle I should just focus on her for now.
And as for going in Korea I think it's wonderful your sister wants to share this experience with you.
Hope you'll have a wonderful weekend.
WOW... how neat that your sister will be traveling with you..
That will be a wonderful trip for your sister and you together..
Hugs girly..
love ya ..
You know, I really felt this way until I saw his pic. It is just hard the second time around b/c the wait is soooo long and you are occupied with your child who is already home.
girl, you know I had to adjust to the boy thing too. Honestly, somedays I still can't "picture" him being home and part of me still wonders if it really will happen.
So happy you are going to travel. I have several friends with little ones from Korea and I always feel they missed out by not traveling...of course all of them want to go someday with their children...happy your sister is coming along.
love the new blog ... had no idea you started one (of course i am in a fog here lately) ... i love how you are so transparent in your words !!! you know i love ya and praying for this journey !!!
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