So different

This adoption feels so different from the first. Actually, it just feels so much LESS than the first...or I guess, I just feel so much less. Not to say that I don't VERY MUCH desire another child. I do. It's just weird. Maybe it's too early in the process to feel much of anything about it. I already have a child who is here, living and breathing, and real. It's too much to put my brain and heart around the "idea" of my next child. Although I do lie awake in bed at night thinking of baby names (mostly girl names), the idea of a boy is still so far removed from me. I'm sure in time I will dive in, head first, like I did before. I'll start nesting and dreaming...
I am really excited about the fact that I am definitely going to travel to Korea to pick him/her up. Jay will stay home, but I need to go. Need to soak in the Country and all it has to offer - I need to fall head over heels in love with Korea the way I did with China.
My sister is going to come with me! She told me, out of the blue, last week that she wanted to come with. I was shocked! But, I am SO SO SO thrilled that the two of us will be taking this trip together. We will have the best time...I'm glad that she is going to experience this adoption from the beginning first-hand. It was so sad in China, just being able to communicate over the phone. This will be huge for us!
So, that is where I am right now in this process. Kind-of all over the place, but deep down I am calm, trusting that God has it all figured out - so I don't have to.